Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
