I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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