So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
