I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
