dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
