Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
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I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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