Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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