this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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