last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want to make out with him forever
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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