i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
