do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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