you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
