Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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