It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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