Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
