The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
