Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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