I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
