yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize