Im at strip club and am horny
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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