the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
