just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
