would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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