i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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