I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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