i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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