i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
