I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
