She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
