Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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