She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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