Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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