belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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