I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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