that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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