i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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