so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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