Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize