im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
