would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
