Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
