it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
