so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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