I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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