when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
