That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize