i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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