I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
