if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
