somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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