we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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