Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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