so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
