this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
