my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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