she woke up with a sticky ear
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize