Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
